A codependent relationship is a dysfunctional one. Codependents have a pattern of behavior in which they need other people to like them and approve of them. They depend on others for their self worth and identity and go out of their way to please others, often sacrificing their own needs in the process. Codependency is difficult to treat as codependents are often in denial.
In a healthy relationship, boundaries are important. Codependents usually have a problem with boundaries. Their boundaries may be blurred and they will often go to great lengths to fix others and feel an unnatural responsibility for their problems and feelings. They go out of their way to please but will also control and manipulate others to get what they need. They may also have rigid boundaries that do not allow others to see what they are feeling or allow them to feel close.
People-pleasing and care-taking are often used to control and manipulate others as they need them to act in a certain way to make them feel secure. Communication is no longer honest as a result. There is an unhealthy clinging as they depend on their loved ones for fulfillment instead of finding it in themselves. They often give support to their partners at the cost of their own physical, emotional and mental health.
People like this have extremely low self-esteem. Under the surface they will often feel a sense of anger and resentment. This usually becomes worse with time and results in depression and feelings of helplessness and despair. They feel trapped and yet do not know how to change this.
In such a relationship, a partner will often cater to the anxiety of the codependent person. They delude themselves into thinking they are helping but they may just be reinforcing the negative behavior patterns. To repair such a relationship, it is important to set boundaries and for each person to find happiness as an individual.
In such a situation, there is often a lot of denial. Codependents know they are unhappy but they often fail to recognize that this is partly their own fault. They are likely to blame the problems on the other person and the situation. They often feel shame and guilt and find it very difficult to acknowledge they have a problem, let alone reach out for help.
It may be necessary to receive guidance and support as it is often difficult to make these changes alone. Some of the changes that may have to be made is to spend more time with family and friends, find enjoyable hobbies and even to spend time apart to create a more healthy dependency.
In order to save such a relationship, it is necessary to establish boundaries and work on the self worth of both individuals. Professionals with experience in this area are available to offer guidance and support. This is often far better than trying to go it alone as these changes can be hard to make. However, there is hope of recovery and getting help can result in developing a more healthy relationship.
In a healthy relationship, boundaries are important. Codependents usually have a problem with boundaries. Their boundaries may be blurred and they will often go to great lengths to fix others and feel an unnatural responsibility for their problems and feelings. They go out of their way to please but will also control and manipulate others to get what they need. They may also have rigid boundaries that do not allow others to see what they are feeling or allow them to feel close.
People-pleasing and care-taking are often used to control and manipulate others as they need them to act in a certain way to make them feel secure. Communication is no longer honest as a result. There is an unhealthy clinging as they depend on their loved ones for fulfillment instead of finding it in themselves. They often give support to their partners at the cost of their own physical, emotional and mental health.
People like this have extremely low self-esteem. Under the surface they will often feel a sense of anger and resentment. This usually becomes worse with time and results in depression and feelings of helplessness and despair. They feel trapped and yet do not know how to change this.
In such a relationship, a partner will often cater to the anxiety of the codependent person. They delude themselves into thinking they are helping but they may just be reinforcing the negative behavior patterns. To repair such a relationship, it is important to set boundaries and for each person to find happiness as an individual.
In such a situation, there is often a lot of denial. Codependents know they are unhappy but they often fail to recognize that this is partly their own fault. They are likely to blame the problems on the other person and the situation. They often feel shame and guilt and find it very difficult to acknowledge they have a problem, let alone reach out for help.
It may be necessary to receive guidance and support as it is often difficult to make these changes alone. Some of the changes that may have to be made is to spend more time with family and friends, find enjoyable hobbies and even to spend time apart to create a more healthy dependency.
In order to save such a relationship, it is necessary to establish boundaries and work on the self worth of both individuals. Professionals with experience in this area are available to offer guidance and support. This is often far better than trying to go it alone as these changes can be hard to make. However, there is hope of recovery and getting help can result in developing a more healthy relationship.
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