We each have these imperative moments that we reach in our lives. Often, for some, it happens earlier than later. For others...it takes years on years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to a single point where we all truly know, inside the midst of our hearts, that things must change. This wish for change is like nothing you've ever experienced before. There truly is a different type of energy to it. Honestly, there's a different feeling to it altogether.
You must do the most scary thing you will ever do - face your grandest nightmare...yourself.
My moment came in late 2011 and it was not by choice. I remember standing in that apartment, hearing words that I would never forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything and anything I could. At the end, I'll never forget that deep burning feeling of turning to ashes. It wasn't the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was really the entire piling up of dry leaves and hay from years and years of neglect...and that small match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, seven days later, it reached its lowest point. Absolutely rock bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that wretched black dark room, it wasn't granted, and I woke up the following day gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the knowledge that I could reconstruct my whole world the way that I wanted it.
But I would need to face myself.
More importantly, I would really need burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would have to learn the way to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everybody else, to be fully responsible for my whole entire life, and to ultimately let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the wonderful things in you from ever reaching anyone. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Pain was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding evaded my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, stone by stone on a different foundation. My spine and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I'd create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, here's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark oozing type of agony that may frighten you to death. It scares you because it makes you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The actuality is, that's where your strength is. There's unthinkable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there's strength in great and deep faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that truly is beyond confidence. It's the kind of feeling that you know that everything around you might be wiped out, and you could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Real power.
"Take from me everything world, and I am going to come back and build it back better...and regardless of how you challenge me...I will absolutely continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Don't be afraid to let everything go for the great opportunity to build it back better. Want love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that is impedeing you. You're going to have to dive deep into the abyss of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No armor. No weapon. No attempt to rise up above it.
You must go in naked and fully exposed.
You'll come out. You may cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I would never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't come out of. I guarantee you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to start living the grandest adventure you could really ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can tell you...this place, is where life starts.
You must do the most scary thing you will ever do - face your grandest nightmare...yourself.
My moment came in late 2011 and it was not by choice. I remember standing in that apartment, hearing words that I would never forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything and anything I could. At the end, I'll never forget that deep burning feeling of turning to ashes. It wasn't the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was really the entire piling up of dry leaves and hay from years and years of neglect...and that small match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, seven days later, it reached its lowest point. Absolutely rock bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that wretched black dark room, it wasn't granted, and I woke up the following day gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the knowledge that I could reconstruct my whole world the way that I wanted it.
But I would need to face myself.
More importantly, I would really need burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would have to learn the way to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everybody else, to be fully responsible for my whole entire life, and to ultimately let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the wonderful things in you from ever reaching anyone. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Pain was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding evaded my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, stone by stone on a different foundation. My spine and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I'd create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, here's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark oozing type of agony that may frighten you to death. It scares you because it makes you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The actuality is, that's where your strength is. There's unthinkable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there's strength in great and deep faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that truly is beyond confidence. It's the kind of feeling that you know that everything around you might be wiped out, and you could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Real power.
"Take from me everything world, and I am going to come back and build it back better...and regardless of how you challenge me...I will absolutely continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Don't be afraid to let everything go for the great opportunity to build it back better. Want love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that is impedeing you. You're going to have to dive deep into the abyss of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No armor. No weapon. No attempt to rise up above it.
You must go in naked and fully exposed.
You'll come out. You may cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I would never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't come out of. I guarantee you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to start living the grandest adventure you could really ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can tell you...this place, is where life starts.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.
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